Post by BuddyLove on Oct 3, 2015 23:09:13 GMT -5
Big Norm kicks open the motel room, due to the duo still was looking for a ride/home. He is shouting into the cellphone that looks like it came out of the 90’s. He is wearing his white tanktop, gold chain, and purple sweatpants. He storms around the motel room, almost knocking over the lamp on the table.
“Listen SUCKA!, I don’t care if he is busy, I want to speak with that SOB right now!” Big Norm argues with the young lady on the phone. “I demand that you get him on the phone right now.
The young lady, sounding much like the teacher from Peanuts cartoon, mumbles over the phone.
“I don’t care if he’s in a meeting. He needs to speak with the face of his company, the champion of the people, and the true World Heavyweight Champ.”
More mumbling from the young lady.
“WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE’S ALREADY IN THE MEETING WITH THE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMP?! THAT SON OF A BITCH!”
Big Norms hurls the brink phone against the wall, and it lands on the ground with a thud. Surprisingly, the phone doesn’t shatter into a million pieces. Big Norm stomps his feet, cursing out loud before picking up the phone again.
“YOU TELL THAT SON OF A BITCH BISHOP AND THAT ASSHAT RENO MUSTANG THE PEOPLE KNOW WHO THE REAL CHAMP IS, AND THAT WE ARE COMING FOR THEM! SUCKA!”
Big Norm turns the phone off and slams the phone onto the table. Big Norm walks out of the room and to the front porch of the motel. He lets out a deep growl, before lighting his cigar. He takes a few puffs and then looks over to Buddy Love. He shakes his head in disapproval. “Buddy? What the hell are you doing?”
Buddy “Love” Johannson, the Count of Monte Disco, the Jester of Sting, the French Quarter Stallion, was sitting in a kiddy pool, still looking quite woozy from the champagne bottle to the skull, in his Jimmy Hendrix swimming trunks. He still has a massive bandage wrapped around his head, his beads dangle from his neck, and he isn’t even drinking from his winecooler.
“I think I’m seeing birds…… or maybe hummingbirds…..”
“God damnit Buddy, are you still carrying on with that shit?! It has been over a week! Even football players are usually good after 7 days.” Big Norm says as he marches over to him. “I know you don’t remember what happened, but we went over the whole show, you watched the tape, snap out of it!”
“Look at the birdies…..” Buddy says as he points upward.
Big Norms looks up to where Buddy is pointing, and see nothing. “Birdies? I thought you saw stars when you get knocked out, SUCKA!”
Big Norm slams his fist down on the top of Buddy’s head. Buddy shakes his head, shaking out the cobwebs and looks up with his eyes swirling.
“Oh no….. we went from birds to bells.”
“Bells, shit that’s not going to work.” Big Norm says as he slams his fist onto Buddy’s head. “Give me stars damn it!”
Buddy falls over in the kiddy pool, but suddenly springs to his feet. He tumbles out of the kiddy pool, throwing punches wildly.
“YOU AREN’T BREAKING SHIT IVAN!”
Big Norm looks on in shock.
“Who the hell is Ivan?”
“He’s not a machine, he’s a man! He’s a Russian piece of –“ Buddy shouts out as she is bobbing and weaving, as if dodging punches from an invisible fighter. "You are gonna hit the mat just like how the Berlin Wall fell over!"
“Jesus, that bottle to the head really knocked something loose.” Big Norm says he runs over to Buddy and grabs him. “It’s okay Buddy, I have an idea….”
After a very long drive from Maryland in Big Norm’s Oldsmobile, he couldn’t afford the Cadillac, Buddy and Big Norm were home in New Orleans. Big Norm is dragging Buddy, who is still trying to punch at ghosts, which did make for an interesting car ride. Big Norm leads Buddy to a dimly light shack, in the yet to be restored suburbs of New Orleans.
“Yo Cleo, you home?”
“Norm?” A large, very large, ebony woman steps out of the shack. She looked to be at least 70 in exotic dress. “It is you!”
“Hi momma!” Big Norm smiles as he marches up the porch.
Just as Big Norm steps onto the porch, he is met with a slap. “WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN SUCKA!” His mother shouts as she tries to slap him again.
“MOMMA! WHAT THE HELL!”
“You’ve been gone for like three weeks, leaving me here with no company but Steve!” She shouts as she points to the rather large hog that is eating out of a tipped over trashcan.
“But momma, Buddy needed me!” Big Norm says as he points to Buddy, who is still throwing punches and ducking punches that are thrown at him.
“What the hell happened to the cracker?”
“He’s got a major screw loose.” Big Norm says as he holds up a wrestling magazine that had the results of UWR’s Christening.
“They did what?” She says angrily.
“That’s right.” Big Norm says as rips up the magazine. “And now Buddy’s all messed up.”
“Bring him inside, I’ll fix him.”
Big Norm waited outside patiently, smoking a cigar as he sits in a rocking chair. It had been a good thirty minutes since Buddy had been pushed inside his mom’s shack. Suddenly, the front door is pushed up and Buddy Love comes running out, in only his underwear. He runs around the yard, wooing and dancing around. Big Norm’s mom struts out, in a leopard skin bra and panties, and a silk white robe. Big Norm turns to his mom and his face grows pale. “MOM! WHAT THE HELL!”
“He’s all better. He just needed some lovin’……. And boobs, boobs always seems to work for that cracker.”
“WHAT THE HELL! I WANTED YOU TO PUT A VOODOO CURSE ON THOSE SONS OF BITCHS! I EVEN BROUGHT THIS!” Big Norm shouts as he holds up a mustang hood ornament.
“Oh baby, it doesn’t work that way…..” She shakes her head.
“COME ON BIG NORM!” Buddy shouts as he picks up his midget friend.
“BUDDY! PUT ME DOWN!”
“We have to get back to Baltimore! We gotta train! We gotta prepare for the RIOT!"
“Listen SUCKA!, I don’t care if he is busy, I want to speak with that SOB right now!” Big Norm argues with the young lady on the phone. “I demand that you get him on the phone right now.
The young lady, sounding much like the teacher from Peanuts cartoon, mumbles over the phone.
“I don’t care if he’s in a meeting. He needs to speak with the face of his company, the champion of the people, and the true World Heavyweight Champ.”
More mumbling from the young lady.
“WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE’S ALREADY IN THE MEETING WITH THE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMP?! THAT SON OF A BITCH!”
Big Norms hurls the brink phone against the wall, and it lands on the ground with a thud. Surprisingly, the phone doesn’t shatter into a million pieces. Big Norm stomps his feet, cursing out loud before picking up the phone again.
“YOU TELL THAT SON OF A BITCH BISHOP AND THAT ASSHAT RENO MUSTANG THE PEOPLE KNOW WHO THE REAL CHAMP IS, AND THAT WE ARE COMING FOR THEM! SUCKA!”
Big Norm turns the phone off and slams the phone onto the table. Big Norm walks out of the room and to the front porch of the motel. He lets out a deep growl, before lighting his cigar. He takes a few puffs and then looks over to Buddy Love. He shakes his head in disapproval. “Buddy? What the hell are you doing?”
Buddy “Love” Johannson, the Count of Monte Disco, the Jester of Sting, the French Quarter Stallion, was sitting in a kiddy pool, still looking quite woozy from the champagne bottle to the skull, in his Jimmy Hendrix swimming trunks. He still has a massive bandage wrapped around his head, his beads dangle from his neck, and he isn’t even drinking from his winecooler.
“I think I’m seeing birds…… or maybe hummingbirds…..”
“God damnit Buddy, are you still carrying on with that shit?! It has been over a week! Even football players are usually good after 7 days.” Big Norm says as he marches over to him. “I know you don’t remember what happened, but we went over the whole show, you watched the tape, snap out of it!”
“Look at the birdies…..” Buddy says as he points upward.
Big Norms looks up to where Buddy is pointing, and see nothing. “Birdies? I thought you saw stars when you get knocked out, SUCKA!”
Big Norm slams his fist down on the top of Buddy’s head. Buddy shakes his head, shaking out the cobwebs and looks up with his eyes swirling.
“Oh no….. we went from birds to bells.”
“Bells, shit that’s not going to work.” Big Norm says as he slams his fist onto Buddy’s head. “Give me stars damn it!”
Buddy falls over in the kiddy pool, but suddenly springs to his feet. He tumbles out of the kiddy pool, throwing punches wildly.
“YOU AREN’T BREAKING SHIT IVAN!”
Big Norm looks on in shock.
“Who the hell is Ivan?”
“He’s not a machine, he’s a man! He’s a Russian piece of –“ Buddy shouts out as she is bobbing and weaving, as if dodging punches from an invisible fighter. "You are gonna hit the mat just like how the Berlin Wall fell over!"
“Jesus, that bottle to the head really knocked something loose.” Big Norm says he runs over to Buddy and grabs him. “It’s okay Buddy, I have an idea….”
After a very long drive from Maryland in Big Norm’s Oldsmobile, he couldn’t afford the Cadillac, Buddy and Big Norm were home in New Orleans. Big Norm is dragging Buddy, who is still trying to punch at ghosts, which did make for an interesting car ride. Big Norm leads Buddy to a dimly light shack, in the yet to be restored suburbs of New Orleans.
“Yo Cleo, you home?”
“Norm?” A large, very large, ebony woman steps out of the shack. She looked to be at least 70 in exotic dress. “It is you!”
“Hi momma!” Big Norm smiles as he marches up the porch.
Just as Big Norm steps onto the porch, he is met with a slap. “WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN SUCKA!” His mother shouts as she tries to slap him again.
“MOMMA! WHAT THE HELL!”
“You’ve been gone for like three weeks, leaving me here with no company but Steve!” She shouts as she points to the rather large hog that is eating out of a tipped over trashcan.
“But momma, Buddy needed me!” Big Norm says as he points to Buddy, who is still throwing punches and ducking punches that are thrown at him.
“What the hell happened to the cracker?”
“He’s got a major screw loose.” Big Norm says as he holds up a wrestling magazine that had the results of UWR’s Christening.
“They did what?” She says angrily.
“That’s right.” Big Norm says as rips up the magazine. “And now Buddy’s all messed up.”
“Bring him inside, I’ll fix him.”
Big Norm waited outside patiently, smoking a cigar as he sits in a rocking chair. It had been a good thirty minutes since Buddy had been pushed inside his mom’s shack. Suddenly, the front door is pushed up and Buddy Love comes running out, in only his underwear. He runs around the yard, wooing and dancing around. Big Norm’s mom struts out, in a leopard skin bra and panties, and a silk white robe. Big Norm turns to his mom and his face grows pale. “MOM! WHAT THE HELL!”
“He’s all better. He just needed some lovin’……. And boobs, boobs always seems to work for that cracker.”
“WHAT THE HELL! I WANTED YOU TO PUT A VOODOO CURSE ON THOSE SONS OF BITCHS! I EVEN BROUGHT THIS!” Big Norm shouts as he holds up a mustang hood ornament.
“Oh baby, it doesn’t work that way…..” She shakes her head.
“COME ON BIG NORM!” Buddy shouts as he picks up his midget friend.
“BUDDY! PUT ME DOWN!”
“We have to get back to Baltimore! We gotta train! We gotta prepare for the RIOT!"