Post by BuddyLove on Oct 8, 2015 0:03:04 GMT -5
“Get that son of a bitch Bishop on the phone right now!” Big Norm shouts into his brink cellphone again.
He is yelling at Mr. Bishop’s secretary, who once again sounds the teacher from the Peanuts cartoons, mumbling over the phone. He is pacing around another motel room. His gold chain swings back and forth violently as he races around and around the room. Buddy Love, still smiling from an excursion back home a few days ago, is doing some very complex yoga stretches. With the help of Big Norm’s mother, who doesn’t wish to be named (Per her son who is still mighty pissed off), Buddy Love, the Silver Fox of the squared circle, the Master of Comedic Brawling, the King of Beads, and the undisputed champion of Mardi Gras, has found a new level of flexibility, and a new spirit that has filled his old frame. Who would have thought a rather old, rather large voodoo priestess would have been so limber?
“I don’t care if he is out on lunch. He’s got some explaining to do. He robbed us of EVERYTHING! CHAMPIONSHIP GOLD! AND NOT TO MENTION THE BABES!” Big Norm shouts some more.
“Let it go Norm…… you are messing with my chi.” Buddy says as he is trying to keep himself balanced between the beds.
“I’m not letting this go! He screwed us over!” Big Norm growls at Buddy. “You should be pissed off too.”
“Oh, trust me, I am, but there will be some good that comes out of this.” Buddy smiles. “It’s just good to be part of the game again. The wheeling and dealing, the high-profiling, styling, ass-kicking–“
“Shut up Buddy! I gotta do business.” Big Norm snaps. “How lady SUCKA! You get that bastard on the phone right now. I don’t care if he owns UWR and I don’t care if his name is on the checks. I don’t care if his names on the ring, HELL, I don’t care if he bathes in a swimming pool of gold like that duck dude!”
The secretary mumbles over the phone, causing Big Norm to cut himself up.
“WHAT?! What do you mean Buddy has a match?!”Big Norm shouts into the phone. “He’s still concussed from that asshat Reno!”
“I’m alright Norm, your mom did the – ”
“You shut up right now!” Big Norm turns angrily to Buddy and tries to knock him off his yoga positon.
“HAHA! Not going to work. I’ve been working on this position all day….. Your mom really showed me how to limber up.”
“You son-of-a-bitch!” Big Norm shouts and gives Buddy a kick to the groin as if he was kicking a field goal back in his football playing days.
Buddy screams out and falls over in-between the two beds.
“Not so limber now are you SUCKA!” Big Norm laughs and goes back to his phone call. “Sorry about that darling…. You were talking about a match?”
The secretary goes back to mumbling on the phone.
“October 9th, FRIDAY NIGHT RIOT, WE’LL BE THERE! SUCKA!” Big Norm laughs and throws the phone against the wall. “Get up Buddy, you got a match.”
“Are you sure about this Norm?” Buddy says nervously as he steps into the ring.
“Of course I am! You are one hell of a singles competitor, but we need to get your trained up on tag-team wrestling.”
“But I’m a one dick per fantasy rule.” Buddy says.
“WHAT!” Big Norm hops onto the apron.
“Yeah, one dick per fantasy rule.” Buddy shouts louder. “I only have three-ways or foursomes with ladies.”
“God damnit! Not that kind of tag-team!” Big Norm slaps Buddy across the back of his head. “TAG TEAM WRESTLING!”
Buddy stumbles forward into the ring and bumps into ex-Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis. Buddy looks nervous as he lightly waves “hi” to Ray Lewis. Ray smirks before leveling Buddy Love with a clothesline. Buddy lands with HAhahda thud, and rolls around on the mat. He looks up to find two more linebackers of the Baltimore Ravens.
“What the hell Norm?!” Buddy shouts as he staggers to your feet.
“What? It’s the best I could do under the short notice.”
Ray Lewis calls the other two off, before doing his Ravens dance. Buddy looks confused but as Ray steps out of it, he tackles Buddy as if giving him a spear. Buddy groans out as he staggers to his feet again. Ray charges after him, pushing him into the corner and giving him a few tough body shots. Buddy takes them, but before he can counter, Ray scoops him up and slams the across the mat.
“Be careful Buddy! That man killed a dude!” Big Norm laughs.
Ray Lewis glares at Big Norm. Buddy takes advantage and hits him with a Jello Shot. They both lay on the mat for a second, catching their breath. Buddy staggers to his feet as Ray starts to recover. He looks over to his corner, and to his surprised, two very elderly men stand in his corner. Buddy looks over to Big Norm a confused face.
“Let me present to you your tag team partners, Hall and Oates!” Big Norm laughs as the two men each hold up a saxophone and a keyboard.
Big Norm laughs as he hits his boombox, and one of their 80’s rock albums starts playing. Ray Lewis is back on his feet and grabs Buddy from behind and slams him. Buddy crawls on his hands and knees, trying to scamper to the corner. He reaches out as Ray Lewis pulls on his leg. Buddy spins around and kicks Ray in the face before tagging in Hall of Hall and Oates. Hall charges, swinging his saxophone like a mad man. One of the Ravens players jumps into the ring and tackles him. Oates jumps into the ring and slams his keyboard into Ray’s face before being tackled by the other Ravens player. Buddy stands on the apron, catching his breath as the five men grapple with eachother. Big Norm is laughing ringside as Buddy shakes his head, climbs to the top rope, and launches, taking them all out.
“HA! It’s going to be a riot this Friday…..”
He is yelling at Mr. Bishop’s secretary, who once again sounds the teacher from the Peanuts cartoons, mumbling over the phone. He is pacing around another motel room. His gold chain swings back and forth violently as he races around and around the room. Buddy Love, still smiling from an excursion back home a few days ago, is doing some very complex yoga stretches. With the help of Big Norm’s mother, who doesn’t wish to be named (Per her son who is still mighty pissed off), Buddy Love, the Silver Fox of the squared circle, the Master of Comedic Brawling, the King of Beads, and the undisputed champion of Mardi Gras, has found a new level of flexibility, and a new spirit that has filled his old frame. Who would have thought a rather old, rather large voodoo priestess would have been so limber?
“I don’t care if he is out on lunch. He’s got some explaining to do. He robbed us of EVERYTHING! CHAMPIONSHIP GOLD! AND NOT TO MENTION THE BABES!” Big Norm shouts some more.
“Let it go Norm…… you are messing with my chi.” Buddy says as he is trying to keep himself balanced between the beds.
“I’m not letting this go! He screwed us over!” Big Norm growls at Buddy. “You should be pissed off too.”
“Oh, trust me, I am, but there will be some good that comes out of this.” Buddy smiles. “It’s just good to be part of the game again. The wheeling and dealing, the high-profiling, styling, ass-kicking–“
“Shut up Buddy! I gotta do business.” Big Norm snaps. “How lady SUCKA! You get that bastard on the phone right now. I don’t care if he owns UWR and I don’t care if his name is on the checks. I don’t care if his names on the ring, HELL, I don’t care if he bathes in a swimming pool of gold like that duck dude!”
The secretary mumbles over the phone, causing Big Norm to cut himself up.
“WHAT?! What do you mean Buddy has a match?!”Big Norm shouts into the phone. “He’s still concussed from that asshat Reno!”
“I’m alright Norm, your mom did the – ”
“You shut up right now!” Big Norm turns angrily to Buddy and tries to knock him off his yoga positon.
“HAHA! Not going to work. I’ve been working on this position all day….. Your mom really showed me how to limber up.”
“You son-of-a-bitch!” Big Norm shouts and gives Buddy a kick to the groin as if he was kicking a field goal back in his football playing days.
Buddy screams out and falls over in-between the two beds.
“Not so limber now are you SUCKA!” Big Norm laughs and goes back to his phone call. “Sorry about that darling…. You were talking about a match?”
The secretary goes back to mumbling on the phone.
“October 9th, FRIDAY NIGHT RIOT, WE’LL BE THERE! SUCKA!” Big Norm laughs and throws the phone against the wall. “Get up Buddy, you got a match.”
“Are you sure about this Norm?” Buddy says nervously as he steps into the ring.
“Of course I am! You are one hell of a singles competitor, but we need to get your trained up on tag-team wrestling.”
“But I’m a one dick per fantasy rule.” Buddy says.
“WHAT!” Big Norm hops onto the apron.
“Yeah, one dick per fantasy rule.” Buddy shouts louder. “I only have three-ways or foursomes with ladies.”
“God damnit! Not that kind of tag-team!” Big Norm slaps Buddy across the back of his head. “TAG TEAM WRESTLING!”
Buddy stumbles forward into the ring and bumps into ex-Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis. Buddy looks nervous as he lightly waves “hi” to Ray Lewis. Ray smirks before leveling Buddy Love with a clothesline. Buddy lands with HAhahda thud, and rolls around on the mat. He looks up to find two more linebackers of the Baltimore Ravens.
“What the hell Norm?!” Buddy shouts as he staggers to your feet.
“What? It’s the best I could do under the short notice.”
Ray Lewis calls the other two off, before doing his Ravens dance. Buddy looks confused but as Ray steps out of it, he tackles Buddy as if giving him a spear. Buddy groans out as he staggers to his feet again. Ray charges after him, pushing him into the corner and giving him a few tough body shots. Buddy takes them, but before he can counter, Ray scoops him up and slams the across the mat.
“Be careful Buddy! That man killed a dude!” Big Norm laughs.
Ray Lewis glares at Big Norm. Buddy takes advantage and hits him with a Jello Shot. They both lay on the mat for a second, catching their breath. Buddy staggers to his feet as Ray starts to recover. He looks over to his corner, and to his surprised, two very elderly men stand in his corner. Buddy looks over to Big Norm a confused face.
“Let me present to you your tag team partners, Hall and Oates!” Big Norm laughs as the two men each hold up a saxophone and a keyboard.
Big Norm laughs as he hits his boombox, and one of their 80’s rock albums starts playing. Ray Lewis is back on his feet and grabs Buddy from behind and slams him. Buddy crawls on his hands and knees, trying to scamper to the corner. He reaches out as Ray Lewis pulls on his leg. Buddy spins around and kicks Ray in the face before tagging in Hall of Hall and Oates. Hall charges, swinging his saxophone like a mad man. One of the Ravens players jumps into the ring and tackles him. Oates jumps into the ring and slams his keyboard into Ray’s face before being tackled by the other Ravens player. Buddy stands on the apron, catching his breath as the five men grapple with eachother. Big Norm is laughing ringside as Buddy shakes his head, climbs to the top rope, and launches, taking them all out.
“HA! It’s going to be a riot this Friday…..”