Post by BuddyLove on Oct 21, 2015 2:21:13 GMT -5
“Are you sure about this?” Buddy Love, the Mardi Gras Stallion, the King Jester of UWR, and the Doctor of grooving and moving, says as he looks over the lease agreement.
“Of course I am. If you are going to be the champ, you gotta drive a ride that is fitting of the champ.” Big Norm says with a big grin.
“Yeah, but this is a really crappy deal. I mean the interest alone is going to put me in the poor house.” Buddy grimaces.
“Come on Buddy. Together we have solid credit, can we can find a way to make 22% interest work.” Big Norm says as he snatches the form from Buddy and starts signing away.
Buddy Love reductively signs the form as well and hands it to the car salesman. He has a rather large grin across his face. He reads over the form before running back into his manager’s office. The manager reads it over and shines a grin as well. They both scurry around the office before coming back with a new set of keys. Buddy reaches for the keys, but Big Norm is faster. He waddles quickly toward the exit and runs through to their brand new 2016 Mustang. The bright pink car is polished and looks as if it came straight out of the shop. Buddy stands in awe as Big Norm hopes into the car.
“Get in the car SUCKA! We have to get to Reno!”
Buddy and Big Norm squeal the tires and roar out of the parking lot. Big Norm’s laughter echoes just as loud as the engine. They hit the highway and gun it for Reno, Nevada. Big Norm explains that for Buddy Love to defeat his rival, his nemesis, the sith to his jedi, the USSR to his America, Reno, Dirtbag, Mustang. Visions of grandeur, lost titles, and champagne still flow through Buddy’s head. He hasn’t forgotten how he was the victor at UWR’s Christening, and he had the title plucked from his hands, and the glass bottle smashed across his head. However, through such pain and hardship, the people have rallied, and the masses have joined the good fight, and by god, Buddy was having fun.
The road trip is long, but after driving all day and night, Buddy and Norm arrive at the biggest little city in the world. Big Norm knew that Buddy would get the fine training here in Reno. Besides, Reno Mustang, shared the city’s name. Buddy protested, saying Reno was from Las Vegas, but Big Norm would not have it. But as the neon breasts, the lusting for booze and chips, and the babes of the Reno strip, Buddy couldn’t be happier. Though Big Norm does not stop the car. He drives right through, with Buddy protesting the whole time. Big Norm tells him to shut up and takes them to a ranch outside of town.
“What the hell are we doing here?” Buddy says as Big Norm finally parks the car and turns off all the lights.
“Training SUCKA!” Big Norm says as he grabs his flashlight. “If you can get through this, Reno has no chance!”
Big Norm drags Buddy out of the Mustang and throw the field. They were in the middle of the Nevada desert, looking to be nearing someone’s ranch.
“Where are we?” Buddy whispers.
“Well, a guy I know, who knows a guy, who knows another guy, who knows a roommate, who knows a sister, who knows a car dealer, who slept with a stripper, told me that this was Reno’s family farm.”
“Are you serious?”
“As serious as I can get sucka! I think this is Reno’s mother’s, brother’s, cousin’s, former love child.”
“What?!”
“Shut up before we get caught.” Big Norm slaps Buddy as they move to a gate.
Big Norm pushes open the gate very slowly, trying to note make a noise. Buddy follows slowly as they enter what seems like a holding pen.
“What are we doing here?” Buddy says as he follows Big Norm closely.
“We are getting Reno back for robbing you. We are going to steal his family’s mustang.”
“I don’t steal animals.”
“Yes you do sucka!”
“No I don’t.”
“YES YOU DO!”
“NO I DON’T!”
Suddenly a massive stallion, white in color, charges out of the barn. Big Norm shrieks out in terror as the horse charges the loud mouthed foot-long midget. Buddy charges toward the horse, not going to allow it to trample his friend. Buddy shoulder blocks the horse, which doesn’t budge. The horse neighs as it tries to smack Buddy with its hooves. Buddy spins the horse around and it’s a massive cutter on the four-legged animal, knocking it out cold. Big Norm smiles and quickly runs over to the downed animal. He starts spray painting the poor animal, giving it a tie-dye look off green, purple, yellow and pink. He covers the horse, and finishes with writing “Buddy Love was here. Reno Mustang is a dirtbag”.
“I never doubted you for a moment Buddy….” Big Norm says with a smile. “Now let’s get the hell out of here before the horse wakes up.”
“Of course I am. If you are going to be the champ, you gotta drive a ride that is fitting of the champ.” Big Norm says with a big grin.
“Yeah, but this is a really crappy deal. I mean the interest alone is going to put me in the poor house.” Buddy grimaces.
“Come on Buddy. Together we have solid credit, can we can find a way to make 22% interest work.” Big Norm says as he snatches the form from Buddy and starts signing away.
Buddy Love reductively signs the form as well and hands it to the car salesman. He has a rather large grin across his face. He reads over the form before running back into his manager’s office. The manager reads it over and shines a grin as well. They both scurry around the office before coming back with a new set of keys. Buddy reaches for the keys, but Big Norm is faster. He waddles quickly toward the exit and runs through to their brand new 2016 Mustang. The bright pink car is polished and looks as if it came straight out of the shop. Buddy stands in awe as Big Norm hopes into the car.
“Get in the car SUCKA! We have to get to Reno!”
Buddy and Big Norm squeal the tires and roar out of the parking lot. Big Norm’s laughter echoes just as loud as the engine. They hit the highway and gun it for Reno, Nevada. Big Norm explains that for Buddy Love to defeat his rival, his nemesis, the sith to his jedi, the USSR to his America, Reno, Dirtbag, Mustang. Visions of grandeur, lost titles, and champagne still flow through Buddy’s head. He hasn’t forgotten how he was the victor at UWR’s Christening, and he had the title plucked from his hands, and the glass bottle smashed across his head. However, through such pain and hardship, the people have rallied, and the masses have joined the good fight, and by god, Buddy was having fun.
The road trip is long, but after driving all day and night, Buddy and Norm arrive at the biggest little city in the world. Big Norm knew that Buddy would get the fine training here in Reno. Besides, Reno Mustang, shared the city’s name. Buddy protested, saying Reno was from Las Vegas, but Big Norm would not have it. But as the neon breasts, the lusting for booze and chips, and the babes of the Reno strip, Buddy couldn’t be happier. Though Big Norm does not stop the car. He drives right through, with Buddy protesting the whole time. Big Norm tells him to shut up and takes them to a ranch outside of town.
“What the hell are we doing here?” Buddy says as Big Norm finally parks the car and turns off all the lights.
“Training SUCKA!” Big Norm says as he grabs his flashlight. “If you can get through this, Reno has no chance!”
Big Norm drags Buddy out of the Mustang and throw the field. They were in the middle of the Nevada desert, looking to be nearing someone’s ranch.
“Where are we?” Buddy whispers.
“Well, a guy I know, who knows a guy, who knows another guy, who knows a roommate, who knows a sister, who knows a car dealer, who slept with a stripper, told me that this was Reno’s family farm.”
“Are you serious?”
“As serious as I can get sucka! I think this is Reno’s mother’s, brother’s, cousin’s, former love child.”
“What?!”
“Shut up before we get caught.” Big Norm slaps Buddy as they move to a gate.
Big Norm pushes open the gate very slowly, trying to note make a noise. Buddy follows slowly as they enter what seems like a holding pen.
“What are we doing here?” Buddy says as he follows Big Norm closely.
“We are getting Reno back for robbing you. We are going to steal his family’s mustang.”
“I don’t steal animals.”
“Yes you do sucka!”
“No I don’t.”
“YES YOU DO!”
“NO I DON’T!”
Suddenly a massive stallion, white in color, charges out of the barn. Big Norm shrieks out in terror as the horse charges the loud mouthed foot-long midget. Buddy charges toward the horse, not going to allow it to trample his friend. Buddy shoulder blocks the horse, which doesn’t budge. The horse neighs as it tries to smack Buddy with its hooves. Buddy spins the horse around and it’s a massive cutter on the four-legged animal, knocking it out cold. Big Norm smiles and quickly runs over to the downed animal. He starts spray painting the poor animal, giving it a tie-dye look off green, purple, yellow and pink. He covers the horse, and finishes with writing “Buddy Love was here. Reno Mustang is a dirtbag”.
“I never doubted you for a moment Buddy….” Big Norm says with a smile. “Now let’s get the hell out of here before the horse wakes up.”